Ask any red blooded American male, and they'll tell you that the allure of the "Baseball Annies" (heretofore used to designate camp followers, groupies, overzealous female sabrematricians...) is downright overpowering, especially those tall, cool ones in the red dresses, pining for those galoots in the 500 Home Run Club.
Such is evidenced by this intimate photo of herr Thome, once again drawn to lip lock on the warning track back of first base, caught on camera during the 7th inning stretch. As is his norm, the big fellow wandered drunkenly back to his position, a silly grin plastered on his face.
Less important is the lack of defensive prowess James T. is able to bring off the bench. As O.J. Simpson might say (another man who had run-ins with attractive blondes..) nobody's perfect. I write with lousy cursive under duress, and Sampson suddenly turned impotent with the ocassional bad haircut.
And no one ball player, save for Willie Mays, Babe Ruth, Henry Aaron, Stan Musial, etc., ever had it made! Though Thome occupies a spot on the bench Gardy would normally reserve for mediocre, light hitting infielders, his leadership, attitude and professionalism should make him an excellent fit for the Minnesota Twins.
Welcome to Minnesota, big fella!