Sunday, February 14, 2010
Jacque Jones Makes Triumphant Return To Twins Territory!!
Our old friend, outfielder Jacque Jones, agreed on Tuesday of last week to a minor league contract with the Twins. The Jockster agreed to return to the minor leagues with the Twins AAA affiliate in Rochester, New York if he doesn't make the 25-man roster out of spring training.
Jones, who was voted "Man With Signature Most Resembling a Sea Serpent," by the esteemed Classic Twins! Voting Committee, is on a mission to rise up out of the murky depths of the independent baseball leagues. He went from being a pretty decent 2nd tier outfielder with the Twins to short stints with the Chicago Cubs, Florida Marlins, to the lower professional Newark [Bad News] Bears, not to mention a coed, softball beer league weekend team at the end of last year. What the hell!!??
A fine athlete with a yen for slapping homers out of the lead off spot, Jones nonetheless has displayed a curiously "disfunctional" throwing arm. I mean, I swear I've heard sedentary grandmothers yell "You throw like a girl," on any number of his wayward pegs from the outfield. He's ended the lives of many an unsuspecting earthworm by throwing it into the turf, or coldcocking somebody's grandfather in the 3rd row of the grandstand. "Hit the cutoff man" is a phrase not included in his vocabulary. Simultaneously humorous and frustratin,' I tell ya!
In any event, Jacque, whom I remember hitting a homer years ago in the College World Series for USC, is a fine chap who should provide nice leadership if he can make the major league roster! Good luck young man!